Exhausted mother has to ask permission to take a shower because her husband does not want to take care of their baby
Taking care of a small child requires a lot of time and energy, so it is best to divide the tasks equally between the mom and dad. Unfortunately, this is sometimes not possible. A young American mother knows this very well when she described her difficulties in being able to take small breaks - like taking a shower, for example - due to her husband's lack of support. The woman complained that she was the only one taking care of their 1 year and 4 month old babies and she asked the web for advice on how to handle the situation.
"My husband is in the army and works away from home during the week. However, even though he is free on Saturdays and Sundays, he refuses to take care of our baby. He prioritizes his needs before mine, because his salary is our only income. I respect this and do my best to please him," she explained.
The young woman had enrolled in an online university, hoping to study while her child was resting or while her husband was at home. However, her routine and the fact that she alone had to take care of the child, did not allow her to continue her studies. "My husband complains that I dropped out of university, but he can't understand that I gave it up because it would be very difficult for both of us. I would need his help with our son in order to study, and I know he wouldn't accept this," she commented.
The real problem arose on a regular weekend like many others: "My husband told me he was going to take a shower right after lunch and then he was going to have his hair cut. I asked if I could shower first and get his hair cut later, but he refused. I asked him if I could take a shower after him and he said I would have to wait for him to get back to the barber," she wrote in her post.
"We have just moved and we are guests at relatives' homes while we are looking for a new home. Usually, when I am alone in the house, I put my baby in a "playpen" outside the bathroom and leave the door open so that I can keep an eye on him while I'm taking a shower. I can't do this anymore because there are other people in the house and it would be inappropriate," said the mother. With the couple constantly arguing, the young woman asked for advice on how to manage the situation without it escalating into something more serious.
"You have to learn to set limits. Take a shower every day. No one else, not even your husband, asks permission to take a shower. Either do it while he's asleep, hand him the baby when you need to, or put the child in a playpen in front of your husband. The problem is that by asking for permission, you create the expectation that not allowing you to take a shower is a reasonable option," advised one user. Perhaps this commentor is not completely wrong: what do you think?