An exhausted mother explains why you shouldn't visit someone who has just given birth -
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An exhausted mother explains why you…
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An exhausted mother explains why you shouldn't visit someone who has just given birth

March 23, 2021 • By Alison Forde

Katie Bowman had just given birth 24 hours previously when her hospital room was "overrun" by family members who were eager to welcome the baby. Someone took a picture of her in what surely must have been a moment of joy and celebration for all the grandparents, friends, uncles and cousins in that room, but, unfortunately, not for her. The expression on her face demonstrates this in full. The message that this new mother wants to send is very simple: after having kept a baby inside her body for 9 months, a mother needs rest first and, then, to get used to the idea of being a full-fledged mother. Is it too much to ask for a day or two to recover from childbirth? Katie's question is clearly rhetorical and that's where her outburst starts.

Becoming a mother is not exactly a walk in the park and although the enthusiasm of friends and relatives is understandable, perhaps you should shift your attention, at least for 24 hours, to the effort just made by the mother and leave the mother the right space to recover. On the other hand, how can you learn how to hold your newborn baby in your arms or how to breastfeed him, if the room is full of people who can't wait to take a picture and bring gifts? As beautiful as it is, a birth is also painful and even breastfeeding can be: imagine suffering with every feed - fatigue and frustration growing out of all proportion every day! By virtue of all these difficulties, then, why do people still persist in visiting new mothers in the hospital immediately after giving birth? 

Although Katie was well aware of her needs - none of which included phrases like "you look very tired!" or "you've already lost a few pounds, huh ?!" - she did not have the strength to raise her voice to push away friends and relatives at that first moment, so delicate for her and for the child. Her reflection, however, is an invitation to others to make room for future mothers and to respect their needs: "The next time someone you know has a baby, remember how tired this new mother can be. I know you can't wait to see the baby, but remember that visiting a newborn is not your right, but a privilege ".

In short, next time think twice.



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