"To my mother-in-law: I was wrong": daughter-in-law dedicates a letter to her mother-in-law after her death

by Cylia Queen

August 09, 2020

"To my mother-in-law: I was wrong": daughter-in-law dedicates a letter to her mother-in-law after her death
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It's no secret that mothers-in-law get a bad wrap for the way they treat their children's spouses, wives especially. Even so, they are an integral part of their grandchildren's lives, which is one reason why, perhaps, most spouses are able to put up with their mothers-in-law. Some, however, can't and their hatred for them slowly turns into resentment. Once they realize just how important their mothers-in-law were important to their families, it's usually too late. This was Tina Plantamura's case. 

via The Epoch Times

Tina Plantamura/Facebook

Tina Plantamura/Facebook

Tina is an american writer and journalist, and a pretty successful one at that. After her mother-in-law passed away, she wrote and published a letter dedicated to her on the Huffington Post. She always resented her mother-in-law for the way she tried to raise and spoil her grandchildren. Now that she's no longer in their lives, she sees just how important her role as "grandmother" was to her children. 

In her letter, Tina wrote, "How I struggled to show you respect and appreciation while trying to make sure you didn't spoil my children. I thought you would turn them into "selfish brats" by giving them everything they wanted. I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed. I resented you for buying the best and most expensive gifts on their birthdays and on Christmas. How could I possibly compete with you? How do you think it feels to know that the very best presents, the ones they'll be the most excited and aglow about, are not from their parents? 

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Tina Plantamura/Facebook

Tina Plantamura/Facebook

I spent a lot of time wondering why you did all these things and how I could get you to ease up. I know grandmothers are supposed to "spoil the kids," then send them home, but you were … ridiculous. Until you were gone. During those years when I wished you'd stop spoiling them, I never thought about how much you loved them. So much that you showed it in every way possible. Your cooking. The gifts. The candy and sweets. Your presence. 

It's pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity. My kids, now in their teens, miss you dearly. And they don't miss your gifts or your money. They miss you.

The more I long for you to come back, the more I realize that in a way, you never left.

And I will wish a million times that you could do it all again."

 

 

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