"Either you lose weight or you won't be my bridesmaid": woman decides not to attend her cousin's wedding

Mark Bennett

July 05, 2022


Losing weight must be a personal decision, motivated by a deep desire to change and take care of yourself, and not an imposition by others. Olive Chiemerie was asked to lose weight in order to attend her cousin's wedding as a bridesmaid, an offer so tactless and rude that the young woman decided to decline. Did her cousin really want her to shed some weight just so that she could participate in the wedding? Well, given this rude request, the young woman decided not to turn up at "big event". Of course, it's a real shame that this pretentious request came from her cousin - someone who was also one of Olive's best friends.

via Twitter / Nkili


Everything about me just big big anyhow. See one person's face 🙄

Pubblicato da Olive Chiemerie su Martedì 30 novembre 2021

To better contextualize the story, Olive herself told the story: "This cousin of mine and I are both only daughters, but we grew up in the same house like sisters, with her mother and my father, and together with our aunt and our grandmother". She continued the story, stating that she should have had a strong and stable bond with her cousin: "Based on the bond I thought we had, I naturally believed I was going to be her maid of honor at her wedding. It wasn't supposed to be a negotiable thing - but she didn't ask me. Obviously, I didn't want to have to ask her, but I firmly believed it would be me." Things, however, did not turn out exactly as Olive expected.

During an innocent conversation about arrangements for the wedding, the cousin candidly stated that she had not yet decided which of her thin, fair-skinned friends would be her maid of honor.

Omotodun 😍

Pubblicato da Olive Chiemerie su Giovedì 23 settembre 2021

"I was blown away," said Olive, "Our mutual friends were also stunned. They simply could not believe it! She said she doesn't want me because I'm fat and I'd ruin the bridesmaid's look. I couldn't believe that because I'm not skinny or fair-skinned, that I was being dropped by my cousin. I felt insulted. Our friends said they felt insulted on my behalf too."

At this point, Olive's response was quick and firm: "I told her I wasn't going to be present at her wedding because - if she was so ashamed of me - who knows if my presence alone wouldn't destroy the look of the whole ceremony? She said I was exaggerating because it wasn't really about that, but it was her decision." Of course, Olive believed the bride-to-be could make whatever decisions she liked, but perhaps this woman had taken too many things for granted. Obviously the disappointment felt by Olive was great - not so much because she was not going to be the bridesmaid, but because her cousin did not consider her worthy of the role. This is the main reason why Olive was so deeply hurt and made the decision not to attend the wedding.

Many of Olive's followers have expressed solidarity with her, supporting her in her decision to stay away. Outward appearances cannot be set as condition for such an important decision. Not to mention how decisions like this can hurt a person's feelings.