The bride doesn't want her autistic sister at her wedding: "She fell in love with my partner!"
November 03, 2021
What would you do if you were getting married but your autistic younger sister could become a "problem"? A question posed by an anonymous woman on Reddit, after she was accused of being insensitive to her little sister with special needs. Here is the woman's account on Reddit: "My sister has severe autism; even though she is verbal most of her communication is "physical" like sign language due to her social distress. However, she speaks in the family and she has rather poor cognitive abilities. She fails to understand the social boundaries of what can and cannot be done and lives with our parents so they can best look after her. "
Here's how the woman's story continues: "I'm getting married in 3 months. We've organized a simple wedding and reception at my fiance's parents' farm. Since it's all going to be DIY and we're not planning anything too expensive," we can get things done pretty fast as flowers, food and decorations will be provided by her family.
I sent out the invitations last week and asked my sister not to come. I told my parents that I understood it would mean they wouldn't show up, but it was just a warning. Why didn't I want her their? She has a problem with touching Michael and trying to kiss him. Sometimes, when we were at my parents' house, she would try to grab Michael's hands, she would try to reach out to kiss him and go out of her way to be next to him. We tried to talk to her, but she doesn't really understand. I told my parents that I just want Michael to be my husband on that day and not the person my sister likes. They called me selfish and asked how I expected them to accept something like this. They told me that Anna is disabled and may never have a marriage of her own and while I will have Michael for the rest of our lives, she will probably have no one and that Michael and I could be a little more understanding towards her.
UPDATE: My parents called me to let me know they won't come and that I better not take Michael to their home since I "chose a man over my sister". They told me that Anna wanting to kiss Michael and hug him is normal for a woman her age and that she doesn't understand what her feelings mean for other people. I suggested they watch the wedding on the web and they said it's not fair and they deserve to experience it in person. I asked if I could pay a person who could care for my sister that day but they replied very negatively. I dropped the truth bomb, which is that I no longer want to put my life aside for my sister. I did this until I turned 18, but I don't want to be her keeper for her whole life. I assured them that I would pay for her care, but if she is okay with doing this to Michael then I worry if I ever chose to have children what she would do to them. My parents said I was sick for suggesting that she would do anything to my future children and they hung up on me. Then they sent me a long message telling me not to contact them until I could "do the right thing".
N.B. This is NOT an excuse to speak ill of disabled people nor is it an opportunity to vent your hatred of me. My sister is not a scapegoat for hating the disabled, she is a human being with feelings, she is not a number, she is not bad. Please stop treating my sister like she is an evil monster, this problem is between me and my parents. Leave her out of the question please. "
And you? What did you think of this story? Is the future bride in the right, or her parents?