"Help, my daughter-in-law doesn't want me in the delivery room!": The outburst from a mother-in-law who feels rejected creates a stir
April 30, 2021
Giving birth to a child is certainly not a walk in the park - it's an exciting and joyful experience, but which, in practice, also involves a lot of stress, fatigue and pain. It's not surprising, therefore, that a woman has legitimate preferences in terms of who she wants to have close to her in such a moment. It's quite common to desire the presence of one's mother and partner in the delivery room, to witness the big moment, because they are the two people who know us best, in front of whom we are not afraid to show ourselves at our most vulnerable. There are those, however, who could take it the wrong way and take offense at not having been "invited". A woman, in fact, has publicly asked for her help because her daughter-in-law does not want her to attend the birth.
Becoming a grandmother for the first time is an equally unique emotion, but it doesn't justify the selfish and unbridled desire to want to participate at all costs at the time of birth. Julia and her husband Steven were about to have their first child and the woman, as is normal for her, had explicitly requested the presence of her mother and her husband in the delivery room. Not one more person! After all, giving birth is not a spectator sport, right? The mother-in-law, however, did not like this attitude. The woman was deeply offended by the fact that she was considered a "second-tier grandmother", she was not sufficiently worthy of witnessing the coming into the world of her grandson. "Do I have to remind her that I am a retired nurse with almost 40 years experience?", commented the mother-in-law indignant and saddened by the situation.
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"I thought I had a good relationship with Julia, but her decision today devastated me," wrote the woman. "I was stunned and hurt by the injustice of her decision and tried to beg both her and my son, but Julia insists she wouldn't feel comfortable with me there." In fact, giving birth isn't exactly an action a woman can normally feel comfortable in - let alone in the presence of her mother-in-law!
Julia's husband, Steven, rightly doesn't want to upset his wife at such a delicate time and, as a result, told his mother to let it go, also reassuring her that she would see her grandson as soon as possible after the delivery. But the woman felt really offended at being banned from the delivery room: "That's so unfair!". Fortunately, after giving vent to these thoughts, Julia's mother-in-law received many clarifying responses, inviting her to take a step back and see reality from another perspective: "You're wrong! It's not about you! You'll see your grandson the very same day, moments later. You will be in your grandson's life for as long as you live. Nothing is being taken away from you. You have not been snubbed. Go out into the hall and read a book while your daughter-in-law gives birth, don't rob her of this moment of happiness ".
What do you think, do you think the daughter-in-law was right to leave her mother-in-law out of the delivery room? Let us know what you think of this story and what you would have done in her place!