Unhappy forever! Here is why some couples whose relationship has ended still don't have the courage to leave each other!

by Shirley Marie Bradby

August 04, 2019

Unhappy forever! Here is why some couples whose relationship has ended still don't have the courage to leave each other!
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There are so many couples who, despite having been together for a lifetime and yet sharing the same roof, are deeply out of touch and disconnected from each other.

They say they love each other, but spend their days in solitude, withdrawn, sleeping in separate rooms and, when they find themselves in the same room for more than two hours, they argue angrily, sometimes even becoming physically violent.

Is this the meaning of love? Absolutely not. The problem is that these people - and, unfortunately, there are indeed many - believe that they are living a "normal" relationshipBut never-ending disputes, violence, and betrayal are by no means synonymous with a normal relationship.

Therefore, what drives a couple to stay together for so long until they practically explode?! Why do they feel they have to continue to suffer "forever" instead of ending a chapter in their life and starting another?

via CNN

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There are several reasons why some couples choose not to part, continuing to feed a vicious circle that is very harmful to both of them and to their children.

One of these motivations is certainly linked to a tradition of the past and to a way of thinking perhaps a little out of date such as the "until death do us part" - type of separation. In fact, separation or divorces was considered, especially in religious families, as something that was shameful and a disgrace to be avoided at all costs.

However, if it must be "death" that ends a relationship, to "liberate" a woman, or a man, from the fetters and chains of a relationship, perhaps each of us should reflect a little more seriously on the choices to be made.

Another factor that certainly influences the bonds of matrimony is economic dependence. In fact, many women, for years, have been trapped in a relationship, or in a marriage, which they would have liked to have ended if only they had the necessary financial resources to be able to live an independent life.

Unfortunately, in the workplace, which is often full of discrimination and difficulties for everyone, is even more so for most women, who are not even free to choose when is the right time to have a child.

On the other hand, a divorce would represent a considerable economic obstacle even for many men, who would end up in an undesired state of financial precariousness.

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Then, of course, there are those extremely toxic couples, who try to maintain an equilibrium at all costs, even denying the evidence of their toxicity!

Why? Because, on one hand, there is a deeply insecure and devalued person, while on the other hand, there is someone looking for easy prey, a victim, able to endure resentment, anger, and frustration from which they feebly try to break free.

"They make suffer but I love them" or "I am certain that they will change", are phrases that friends and relatives of this type of couple will have heard, more or less, every day of their lives.

Unfortunately, a couple united only by pain is not a couple in love. These are couples in which one of the two partners suffers abuse but, at the same time, fails to let go of the relationship because he or she feels that they "love" the other. It is not love - it is a type of mental illness.

Other couples decide not to separate "for the sake of their children". Let's dismiss this commonplace belief right away! Actually, a child cannot live peacefully in an environment where their parents constantly quarrel with each other, screaming and yelling, slamming doors, and sometimes, even resorting to physical violence.

A child needs tranquility and if parents are forced to separate in order to provide this, then so be it.

In a couple that argues constantly, their child will also feel put aside, since the parents will be too taken by their own disputes and problems.

So, in your opinion, is it better to raise children in a peaceful and healthy environment, or continue to make them suffer the relational frustrations of their parents?

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Finally, the fear of being alone should not be underestimated, in fact, many couples remain together for this very reason.

They do not realize that they are already alone in their relationship, as complicity and the desire to be together sharing their lives and building something important have long since faded.

In this case, they continue to go on due to habit, to avoid having to face those inner fears that will inevitably lead to the progressive end of their relationship.

Only through careful work on one's own personality and character will it be possible to approach the other person and start over. Or, if necessary, to understand that perhaps, it would be better to end a chapter in their lives and allow each other to be free to start a new one. 

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