A day will come when you will become…
7 things a child will never know about their mother Listening to people who are always complaining takes away a lot of positive energy

A day will come when you will become the parent of your parents

January 31, 2019 • By Shirley Marie Bradby

Childhood is a golden period and not only because everything is an immense discovery to a child's eyes, but also because we have mom and dad to protect and guide us. Whatever we need, whatever obstacle comes our way, we know we can rely on them. 

As we grow up, the security they represent to us is less; the world becomes more complicated and the problems are no longer so simple to solve.

But above all, our parents who are our heroes, begin to lose their "superpowers", energy and vigor, until it is we, this time, who must take care of them and not the other way around.

It is difficult to accept the fact that one's parents grow old: so, initially, we are irritated by those small limitations which, year after year, we see manifest in them. We are aware that the years are passing and their hair is becoming gray, and wrinkles appear on their face, yet we feel irritated when they can no longer react with promptness, autonomy, and resolution to our requests and their own needs.

In fact, it is as if we unconsciously demand from them the same attention as when we were young, the same protective roles of our childhood, and we get angry when we realize that these things are missing. If they forget an appointment, if you have to repeat the same phrase more loudly, it is not out of carelessness or spite towards us ---because in the eyes of our mom and dad we will always be their beloved children. 

Therefore, when we begin to take note of these changes, concern takes over; first, it barely manifests as a nagging feeling, but then with - the growing signs and ailments of old age - it turns into anguish that grows inexorably, until we, inevitably, accept these changes, but with an underlying sense of bitterness that is cumulative. 

And so, it is then that we come to realize that from children we have become the parents of our parents. 

image: Maxpixel

Taking care of our parents means not only watching over their health but also keeping them away from the worries and pains, big and small, of life in general. So we do not tell them about our anxieties about becoming new parents, or about difficulties in the family; we redimension problems with our children, and we omit those regarding our job. In short, we soften the reality around us, to take away displeasure and anguish, and make it more manageable - both physically and emotionally. 

Meanwhile, we grit our teeth, knowing that safe haven that our parents once represented no longer exists, except in our memories. Instead of them offering a solution to our problems, we must be content with a smile and an unconscious embrace of our own difficulties. But we know that this is right and that they finally have the right to feel tired and to be looked after and cared for by their children. 

Let us instead feel grateful, because in this way we can give back to them a little bit of that care and support that they gave to us with so much love; giving back to them the time in their life that they used and dedicated to us, considering us their greatest treasure.

Tags: OldExcitingFamily

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