Why paying more attention to our phones than to our partners could be considered a type of infidelity

Shirley Marie Bradby

November 13, 2018

Why paying more attention to our phones than to our partners could be considered a type of infidelity

When one speaks of betrayal one immediately thinks of sexual betrayal such as when a man or woman employs their energies and time more pleasantly with another person than with their partner.

But if we decide to extend the concept of betrayal and eliminate the actual physical presence of another person, we will realize that all of us, every day, betray our partner. With whom? With social media, with our "friends" on Facebook, or work.

Think about what we do every morning, shortly after opening our eyes! Do we not immediately devote our attention and our time to what has happened on our social network accounts during our absence, even before realizing that we have the person we love lying next to us?

via Psychology Today



There are a thousand ways to betray someone, and there is no need for the protagonist of betrayal to be another person. With time, we are getting more and more used to not seeing what is happening to us, to those around us, and we only have eyes and attention for reciprocating some "Likes" or to look for new friends on social networks. 

While eating with our partner, we watch TV attentively or we do not miss an opportunity to take a look at the notifications that light up our smartphone. In the evening, at the end of a tiring day, we prefer to relax and watch something on a screen for a few moments, instead of strengthening one of the most important moments of intimacy between a couple. 

Through apps, we are always in touch with our partner, we exchange with him or her dozens of messages every day. In the morning we forget to greet the person with whom we have chosen to share our life or we do it very hastily, then we try to repair the damage by sending a message full of sweet words and little hearts. 

But what are we doing? Are we pausing our real lives to live a virtual one continuously? What memories, what feelings, what people will surround us when our hands are too weak to hold or manage a smartphone?

Our destiny is probably much more solitary than what we imagine. And all because we have established our existence in friendships and relationships that do not exist and that will decay when there are no more "Likes" to exchange. 

Let's stop. Let's stop betraying our partner, our children, and our friends. Let's go back to devoting to them the time and energies that human relationships require. 

Tomorrow morning, when we wake up, let's leave our smartphone off for a while. Hug the person by our side in bed or spend a few moment to look at him or her. There is no notification so important as remembering how beautiful and rich relationships between human beings can be.