19-year-old gives her half-siblings over to foster care and moves away with her little sister to have a better future: "Was I wrong?"
August 28, 2022
There are very complicated family situations in the world and although one always tries to make the right choice, one has to distinguish between what is necessary and what is right. A 19-year-old woman explained her situation to Reddit users, hoping to get some advice. The young woman has a 6-year-old sister and many other half-brothers and sisters who are the result of the different relationships her parents have had. Since her parents decided to split up, the young woman had to take care of all the children between the ages of 6 and 15. However, she does not want to give up her future taking on responsibilities that are not hers. So, she has chosen to leave, taking only her 6-year-old sister with her. The other children were placed in social services.
The young woman said that her family situation had never been particularly good or stable, but that recently it has reached the breaking point: "My mother and my stepfather are out of the picture and everyone seems to be in a hurry to find a home for all the kids. I'm the only one over 18, so everyone wants me to take care of them. But I don't want to." The problem is that the young woman had an opportunity of being able to leave the state and move in with her grandmother, who offered to help her keep studying. The young woman, along with her 6-year-old sister, moved in with their grandmother. The other children, however, were not allowed to leave the state, which is why the woman was faced with a difficult choice: to let the kids be placed in foster care and to build a future with her little sister, or to be stuck forever in the town looking after all the children.
"I'm sorry, but being forced to stay here would destroy my future. I could definitely survive, but I would be stuck in this horrible place working for a low salary. I could never have a real life. I made the obvious choice. Social workers were kind enough to arrange everything so that my sister and I weren't present when they picked the children up, but of course, they know exactly why they are in foster care now," explained the young woman. Four of the eight kids who have phones started bombarding the woman with messages and calls, asking her angrily how she could have turned them over to foster care.
"I know the system is going to be really bad for them because of where they are and their age, but I just can't do it," explained the young woman, "I can't screw it up. This is my chance to have a real life, with my little sister, and I feel I owe it to both of us. Am I wrong? The children and my mother think so, even my grandmother thinks I should have 'done something' but she doesn't know what and she wouldn't do it either. The only person who doesn't think badly of me is my 6-year-old sister, who says she 'likes the quiet life', but obviously doesn't know the whole story."
This is undoubtedly a difficult situation, and there does not seem to be a right or wrong answer. Reddit users took the side of the young woman and condemned the behavior of the parents: how could they leave 8 children in the hands of a nineteen year old who didn't even give birth to them?
What do you think about this story?