"I argued with my mother-in-law because she wants to be paid to look my child, but I disagree: am I wrong?"
August 02, 2022
Raising a child can be quite complicated at times. Despite deciding to bring a little one into the world, it is not easy to cope with the changes that occur in everyday life and that disrupt the day. And if both parents are working, everything becomes even more difficult. And this is reason why typically the first people that new parents ask for help from, are their parents (i.e. the baby's grandparents).
But is it reasonable that if you are asked to look after your grandchild, you ask to be paid? It is exactly this question that has caused some doubt in the mind of the subject of this story. A new mother argued with her mother-in-law because the mother-in-law asked to be paid for the time she would spend babysitting a family member's child. Let's find out together how things turned out.
via Bright side
Joe Shlabotnik/Flickr - Not the actual photo
Amy is a young working mother who decided to tell her story on a social media app to ask users for their advice and how to deal with her mother-in-law. The woman, returning after a fierce argument with her husband's mother, said that everything started when their 6-month-old baby girl was born. "After the first few months after giving birth, both my husband and I went back to work," wrote the woman. "My husband works from home, and I go to the office. My mother-in-law, a wonderful person (at least I used to think so), offered to look after our daughter. I was very happy to accept this kind offer: she is very good with children and would have been perfect for babysitting. Not to mention that she also offered to give us a hand around the house", Amy said.
Everything went well, at least until the mother-in-law asked to be paid to continue taking care of the child. In fact, at first she had not asked for payment, but then she changed her mind and asked for a fee. Amy was left speechless and got mad. She totally rejected her mother-in-law's request, was amazed that she had demanded money to babysit her child. Raising this issue with her husband, however, this mother found no support - quite the opposite. Amy's husband agreed with his mother, and tried to make Amy understand that if his mother was not available, a stranger would have to be hired and they would ask for even more money.
"I don't really know what to do," wrote Amy, "I'm so confused and upset. I can't understand how money can be demanded in this context - but I don't know if I'm the one who is in the wrong". And for this reason, she decided to ask web users for advice.
Many users have responded to her request for advice but, unfortunately for her, they were mostly support of her mother-in-law. "Taking care of a child is a full-time job and, for this reason, you should pay," says one comment; "Why are you so convinced that a family member must look after your daughter for free? Grandparents usually look after their grandchildren from time to time and ask for nothing in return, but your mother-in-law does this every day. It would be fair and right to give her a little something"; "Have you tried to understand why your mother-in-law made this request? Talk calmly to her and try to find out what her reasons are."
Many similar comments encouraged the woman to open a dialogue with her mother-in-law, before jumping to invalid conclusions.
Heinz Albers/Wikimedia - Not the actual photo
What do you think of this story? Is it right for the mother-in-law to be paid for her babysitting services, or is Amy right?