Eldest daughter is tired of acting as mother to her 4 siblings and would like to leave: her mother is furious
March 03, 2022
In life, each of us chooses to take on responsibilities and assumes the consequences, positive or negative, of these choices. These choices, however, should not impact others in any way.
A 20-year-old girl shared on Reddit her frustration about her specific family situation. The young woman is the eldest of all her four brothers and sisters, which is why she has always felt she had to take care of them. Their mother is not exactly a shining example of the perfect parent, to the point that all the cleaning, preparation of meals and other essential tasks that a mother should do in the first place, have been delegated to the eldest daughter. The young woman is now tired and would like to leave home, but she is worried about her little brothers: how will they manage without her?
Reddit user "Few_Blood1369" explained her situation online, asking users for advice. The young 20-year-old feels guilty at the very thought of leaving her little brothers and sisters alone with a mother who has never cared very much for them. The young woman has two little sisters aged 5 and 3, and two brothers aged 9 and 10 months. All of them are still at an age where they clearly need a mother, or at least a parent to look after them in the best possible way. Their biological mother, however, has never been too interested in them, to the point that she has delegated most of her tasks to her eldest daughter. In short, the young woman, as the eldest, found herself acting as a mother to her brothers and sisters!
The young woman now intends to put her needs first - for once in her life - and she would like to move in with a friend of hers. This would inevitably involve moving away from home and from her brothers and sisters. When she told her mother about her plan to finally find some independence, the situation got unpleasant.
Her mother accused her of being a selfish and someone who only thinks of herself, since she, alone, would never be able to take care of all the children. She must be a horrible person to do such a thing to her own mother. The girl told her clearly that it is not her responsibility to raise her children, but her mother accused her of being spoiled. The mother's most hurtful remark was saying that the girl's siblings would think that she had abandoned them because she didn't love them. That same evening, the young woman had to console her little brothers and sisters, who had heard those nasty words from their mother (who, by the way, had gone out to go to a party).
The 20-year-old now feels terribly guilty, because she doesn't want to leave her brothers and sisters in the hands of a mother who is unable to care for them. But what should she do? Give up on her life and her freedom forever? Many users pointed out that the real problem is the irresponsible mother.