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5 attitudes we should all avoid if we…
She is disfigured by a fire: her partner stays close to her and proves that love is not based on appearances 15 lively children who know how to get to their parents

5 attitudes we should all avoid if we don't want to hurt our mothers

By Alison Forde
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There are figures in all our lives who are simply irreplaceable. Mom is certainly one of them. Think about it for a moment: excluding that of a partner, it is she who manages to give us an authentic, unconditional, unique love. It's no coincidence, since she is the person who carried us in her womb for months and then brought us into the world.

Although any relationship with a mother can evolve in a different way over time, basically the bond that is created between a mother figure and her children is something irreplaceable. However, mothers don't always receive everything they deserve and that they certainly gave to their offspring, in childhood and beyond. This is why it is important to always remember them in the best possible way, never taking anything for granted and above all avoiding the most inappropriate behaviors, those that can hurt our mothers most deeply and which we want to talk to you about.

Let's start by saying that the need for independence, a natural development as regards the family in any child who grows up, should never, ever be confused with attitudes that lead us to neglect our loved ones. From an almost symbiotic bond, a child - and subsequently a adolescent - can pass into an almost total and harmful indifference towards the mother. Let's be clear: we are not criticizing emancipation, but it is useful to balance independence and family affections. How? Start by avoiding the behaviors below so as not to break her heart.

1. Not calling mom

As we have mentioned, growing up one tends to move away from the mother figure in favor of one's own future life. It's completely normal, but finding a few minutes a day, perhaps just for a phone call and an update on our life and that of our mother, is certainly a practice that should never be abandoned. It means giving her importance, not letting her feel forgotten.

2. Arguing with brothers or sisters

Family tensions and rivalries are certainly not a good thing. If on the one hand, in chidhood years, quarreling with brothers or sisters can be normal, a situation of continuous "war" between children from the same mother can only hurt those who brought them into the world. It is true: it is often not easy and the dynamics that can be created in the family are many and different, but at least trying to work for a good relationship is always an appreciable commitment that will make parents feel more relaxed. After all, fathers and mothers should constantly work for harmony and against division in the family, and it's nice to be able to pay them back in the same way.

image: Pixy.org

3. Harping on about past mistakes 

If we make a mistake and we realize it, we certainly don't like having someone around us who constantly reminds us and "scolds" us for our mistakes, or even laughs at us. All the more so if we are dealing with people familiar to us. Thus, as it is right that a mother does not do this, children should never harp on about mistakes, defects or behaviors deemed inappropriate.

4. Disregarding her advice

It doesn't matter how old we are or how old our mother is: she will always be there, ready to give us the advice she considers best, from the height of her experience, from the experience she has lived and out of the love she has for us. Of course: not all advice can always be taken on boards, but ignoring it or devaluing it, in this sense, are attitudes that can only contribute to making her feel worse. It is enough to give her a little attention, after all, always maintaining her own sacrosanct decision-making autonomy, to make her feel important, without hurting her.

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5. Getting angry with her for no specific reason

It is always quite easy to unload our anger, our fears and our problems on the people around us. Especially when it comes to familiar figures, whom we may take for "granted" and with whom we know we can afford to be almost totally open, the risk is that they become too easy targets for our discontent. Mom is one of them, indeed perhaps sometimes she becomes one of the first people we throw ourselves at if something is wrong. However, she too has her feelings and sensitivity, let's never forget that.

The ones we have listed above are all common situations, in which many of us will be able to see ourselves. Clearly the relationship with a mother varies from family to family, from person to person. Remembering how important the person who gave us life is, however, is fundamental, always.

Tags: FamilyPsychology
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