5 sentences that parents use that they think are harmless, but which should be avoided
Words are the basis of education, and parents should always evaluate the suitability of their words when speaking to their children.
Unfortunately, tiredness, haste, and frustration often cause disproportionate expressions to be used, which when repeated constantly to children, can end up negatively affecting their self-esteem.
Once you know what these expressions are, it would be best to avoid them, knowing that there is another way to send the same message, but in a more positive and constructive way.
via cnbc.com
1. "We can't afford it": Money is not everything, but with a phrase like that we communicate the opposite to children and admit how much power money has over life. Therefore, if you say that something is too expensive to be able to buy or acquire then a future possibility should always be proposed. For example "I would like to buy a bigger house for us, but since I can't afford it at the moment, I will try to improve my skills in order to be promoted at work."
2. "You drive me crazy!": What they learn with this expression is that they themselves are the problem, when instead the intention of the parent was to say that a certain way of doing - and not of being - does not make the parent happy. The correct way to communicate incorrect behavior is "I don't like it when you do this."
- 3. "I hate my job": It is often difficult to restrain from revealing the exhaustion and frustration accumulated at work, but to express this in front of a child is deeply inappropriate. Our way of approaching life, in fact, greatly influences the possibility of success in young people. Showing dissatisfaction with one's job, we communicate that working is not enjoyable and is practically a useless sacrifice.
- 4. "I have to do this": Children are very skilled at understanding non-verbal communication, namely, a form of communicating that does not use just words—such as tone of voice. For example, saying "we have to go see grandma" while using a not very positive or exciting tone of voice, sends a negative message to your children. Conversely, we can and indeed should always explain the emotions we feel: "I am very tired and I have little desire to go to grandma's house, but since I promised her, I want to keep my word.". This is definitely a better and more complete way of communicating the same message.
- 5. "It doesn't matter" or "It will be all right": Consoling children is always good, but some expressions can devalue their emotions. After a failure, using phrases like "It doesn't matter" only diminishes the importance of a child's goals. Instead, failures are opportunities that are useful to teach children that certain successes are obtained with practice and real commitment. Therefore, it would be much better to say, "Well, today you were unable to score, but you just need a little more practice!"
Living with and raising children is an excellent opportunity to improve your use of words and your capacity to truly communicate in a positive way. Moreover, these tips can also be used very effectively with adults!
