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Whoever is absent too long ends up losing…
After spending 20 years with long hair, she decides to cut it off to have a more youthful look  These delightful colored drawings show us that true love is expressed in the small gestures of everyday life

Whoever is absent too long ends up losing their place in the lives of others

February 20, 2019 • By Shirley Marie Bradby

The worst form of absence, the most painful one, is perhaps that of those who are only physically present, whose hugs are distracted, whose glances are empty, whose smiles are forced, and whose attention is directed elsewhere.

To not be present for someone means not only harming them but also to lie to ourselves. Despite this, people often prefer to live a lie simply out of habit or due to the lack of courage.

Surely, if someone is absent too long, they will end up losing their place in the lives of others.

image: Unsplash

Not all the absences, however, are the result of a lack of affection, in many cases, distancing oneself is a natural process that serves to grow. In life, we leave behind us so many relationships, friends, and partners, people to whom we have given and who have given us so much, who we remember and will always miss.  

In the same way that you can show affection and be present in many forms, there are also many ways to be absent. There are those who do not know how to love and who see themselves as the only important person in their existence. There are those who can only establish fragile relationships, always destined to end with a sad good-bye. There are those who lose interest in both love and friendship, and finally, those who touch life only superficially, without ever really touching anything or anyone. 

It is not enough to be present only "physically" with someone, we must also give and return feelings and emotions. A partner or friend whose real attention is directed elsewhere is a source of malaise and pain.

image: Unsplash

Learning to be more present is possible, here are some simple tips. 

  • Appreciate what you have. There are times when you can be absent because you are involved in a project, or you are assailed by memories, it does not matter. What is important is that you "return", and show gratitude for your life and those who are living it with you. 
  • Live in the "here and now". Feelings of guilt, remorse or regret are likely to keep us in the past, therefore, we must learn to accept what has been because it cannot be changed or canceled. To make someone happy and to be happy ourselves; we must connect with our present emotions. 
  • Savor the simple things. For a life to be full, just fill it with simple things. The affection of loved ones, the small daily pleasures, the beauty of nature, and finally an important thing, try to think less. 

If you really love someone, show it to them concretely every day as if there were no tomorrow. But, if you do not love them anymore then be honest and let them go, without hurting them.

Tags: PsychologyLove

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