People who do not have their own lives tend to talk about the lives of others -
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People who do not have their own lives…
Having a coffee with a friend is the best therapy against the stress of everyday life Whenever you feel sad or burnt out, repeat these 6 phrases to feel their healing power

People who do not have their own lives tend to talk about the lives of others


Unfortunately, some people have the bad habit of expressing unsolicited judgments - that are neither duly founded nor informed - about others; which, although it does not make these individuals more loved, nevertheless can have negative effects on the object of their gossip.

In particular, when criticism and contempt are continuous, they end up influencing and undermining the self-esteem of those who are under attack.

But it is good to remember that usually people who speak ill about the lives of others are tormented by a deep emotional conflict and they vent their frustration on others ---namely, the unfortunate objects of their slander and criticism. 

And if this realization is not enough to protect you against the negativity of the spiteful criticism of others, we can always resort to the parable of the three filters.

image: Quasic/flickr

"A young disciple of a sage comes to his teacher's house and tells him: 

  • Master, a friend of mine spoke of you with malevolence ... 
  • Wait! - the sage interrupts him - Have you passed through the three filters what you are about to tell me? 
  • The three filters? - asks his disciple. 
  • Yes, the first filter is truth. Are you sure what you want to tell me is absolutely true? 
  • No. I heard it from some neighbors. 
  • Well, at least you will have used the second filter, that of goodness? Is what you want to tell me positive for someone? 
  • No, actually not. On the contrary ... 
  • Ah! The last filter is necessity. Is it necessary to let me know what worries you so much? 
  • To tell the truth, no. 
  • So - says the sage smiling - if it is not true, it is not good, and it is not necessary, let's consign it to oblivion." 

The history of the three filters teaches us some important truths: first of all, that we value the words of others , which in this way become real for us too. Therefore, when we stop living according to what others say and think about us, we begin to feel good and live according to our judgment; which will lead us to surround ourselves with the best people - which will also happen by putting in place the three filters. In fact, by applying the filters of truth, goodness and necessity, we will remain surrounded by happiness and affection.


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