10 things we do involuntarily because we have been treated badly too many times in the past
After suffering so much, being disappointed, and abandoned it is normal to change attitude one's towards life and people. A person becomes a bit more insensitive, cautious and, why not, cynical.
Before we plunge headlong into situations, we seriously consider the many signals that once would have been underestimated, we speculate about all the consequences that a situation may have and not just those that end with "and they lived happily ever after".
These are the 10 typical behaviors of people who have been treated badly too many times in the past and who now, from experience, behave in a way that can be misinterpreted as selfishness. In truth, it is just our instinct to protect ourselves by closing up like a hedgehog, to better deflect the blows.
1. We can sniff out the wickedness of people from miles away: We have known many people who are malignant and who only take advantage of others, which is why it is now easy to identify them. They always behave in the same way and by now, we have learned not to give them even one minute more of our time.
2. We don't reveal our feelings; We are not cold, is just that through experience, we have developed a mistrust that leads us to give things time to evolve. Probably, compared to other people, it will take more time to decipher our personalities, but we will not fail to open ourselves to the people who truly deserve to enter our hearts.
3. Kindness means everything; Perhaps two people cannot get along, it is not the end of the world. But even in cases of strong discord, respect and kindness should never be missing. However, in front of a rude and insensitive person, there are no signs of affection or charm that will be effective.
4. We see all the good and the evil; Through experience, we have learned not to miss anything, neither the good nor the bad. When a relationship begins to grow cold, we realize it from the earliest signs. And the same goes for situations where someone has decided to try to make a fool of us while masquerading as something they are not.
5. Often the brain takes over: The times when we acted by following our heart and instinct we suffered. That's why now we impose upon ourselves to be more rational and to use our brain more in a relationship. Sometimes, though, our thoughts get the upper hand and this is the moment when we become paranoid. The people around us must be patient; we are trying to regain a healthy equilibrium between our mind and feelings.
6. We are afraid to trust others: Even when we find the person who would never betray our trust, we are afraid to show ourselves for who we are and what we feel. This does not allow us to experience in the right way many beautiful occasions but it is hard to open up and let go when our wounds still hurt.
7. We often think that we will fall short; It happens very frequently that we blame ourselves for something that has gone wrong in a friendship or love relationship. We think that we are the problem and that we are incapable of maintaining any kind of relationship. We must strive to remember that often the end of a relationship is the "fault" of both parties.
8. We do not lose hope; Now matter how much we have been through, if there is still something that makes us proud of who we are as a person, it is the fact that we still have hope for the future. Others would have already thrown in the towel, but we are still confident that those negative people we have met are only a small part of the human beings who exist in the world.
9. We are cautious for good reasons; People tell us that we should let go more and that all we need to do is just be positive to have positive experiences. Unfortunately, we know that is not always the case. From the past, we have realized that being cautious is not harmful and that if something is meant to be good, then it will also turn out well with a little more time.
10. We have a lot, an awful lot to offer to people: Even though sometimes, we are cautious and cold, still we look forward to being able to offer to those who deserve it, everything good that we can give. We have not lost the ability to fall crazily in love, to live a wonderful fairy tale; precisely because we have known suffering, now we know how wonderful it is to be able to let ourselves go, embraced by people who truly care about us.