The family is forbidden to hold the baby before the mother does
June 29, 2022
Anything, even the smallest thing, can spark a family conflict. For example, marriages and the arrival of a child are particularly prone to causing quarrels in a family. One such conflict happened to a new dad who shared his story on a Reddit post, asking for advice from web users.
According to the account, the author's wife gave birth to their son in November 2019. The woman had a very complicated pregnancy and eventually needed to undergo a caesarean section (c-section).
Pixabay - Not the Actual Photo
"My wife and I had talked about it [having a C-section] for a while and she stated that she hated the thought that she would be the last to hold our baby. So when he was born and my wife was still under sedation, I didn't allow any of the members our families to hold him or to come to see him", explained the new father.
The woman was hospitalized for four days, but she fortunately recovered and was able to greet and hold her new baby first. After about a day, the man allowed everyone else to visit and pamper the newcomer for the first time. "Our families were puzzled, but nobody was truly upset, apart from my mother and my sister who were a little concerned that they had never got to see our son from moment he was born," continued the man.
A few months later, however, the new mother posted some photos on Facebook showing her holding the baby for the first time and talked about how traumatic the birth was in order to raise public awareness on the possible complications of a pregnancy, underlining basically how grateful she was that they were both okay.
Pixabay - Not the Actual Photo
"My mother and sister started acting like little children. They said it wasn't fair and that we had deprived them of enjoying those early days with their grandson," explained the man. "I told them that many people only get to meet their grandchildren days, weeks or even months after the birth. However, they told me that I was being selfish and that I shouldn't have done this just because my wife was not able to greet or hold our baby first."
In addition, someone suggested that the couple had deprived their baby of critical interactions from the moment of the child's birth and that they should be thinking about their infant rather than the wife's feelings about the whole affair. Given these comments, the husband asked web users for their opinions and if they thought he had hurt his child through his actions.
The Reddit community unanimously supported the man, explaining that the couple had made the right choice. "As you pointed out in the comments with other users, you held your baby for the first four days." By "more interaction" they actually mean "more random family members should have visited the baby", and not "we had to visit because you left the poor baby in his crib all alone. And assuming they just wanted to play "pass the baby", I'm outraged by this reaction," wrote one user." Also, the infant was born in November 2019: just a few weeks later the COVID pandemic broke out, so how can they think they have a foundation for their so-called arguments? My baby was born at the beginning of the pandemic. Only half of the family saw him in person from afar, and only three of them have held him in his first year of his life," the husband concluded.
What do you think about this story?