Do not expect anything from anyone and you will live much better!

by Shirley Marie Bradby

June 25, 2019

Do not expect anything from anyone and you will live much better!
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In relationships between people, when it comes to friends, family, partners or even acquaintances, we often run the risk of being disappointed.

This may happen, not because they did something wrong, but simply because they did not behave the way we had hoped.

Expectations are an inevitable and normal thing but at the same time, they are a small but insidious mental trap.

Although, not expecting anything from anyone can seem rather negative, actually, it can allow you to live more peacefully.

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It is one thing to know someone and to be certain that you can count on him or her, another is to hope that someone makes your wish come true, or that they say or do exactly the thing you hoped for as if they have the ability to read your mind.

In this case, what is wanted is projected onto the other person, believing that they will almost certainly make it happen.

Unfortunately, the most common consequence of this type of illusion is being disappointed, after seeing a small dream frustrated. Next, from this point on, one starts to doubt if they really know the other person, or that perhaps their affection is not being reciprocated in the same measure.

In fact, an expectation that has been disappointed is a spiral that leads to uncertainty, especially when the disappointment is a big one. However, the frequent mistake is to idealize individuals, to fabricate an identity for them that does not correspond to the real one, and with which they will never be able to compete successfully because it is actually beyond their abilities and their way of being.

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Consequently, it is much healthier is to be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed, and to do this we simply have to abandon the concept of expectations.

This does not mean that we should abandon ourselves to the idea that a partner cannot be faithful, a friend loyal or a family member truly loving, but just simply not imagine unrealistic scenarios that are almost guaranteed to never happen.

To live in harmony, you have to stop manipulating others and trying to make them similar to yourself. So often when someone is complaining, they say things like "if everyone were like me ...", but that is a misconception.

In fact, a world of individuals, with everyone the same, would be a place where everyone has the same faults, where no one can compensate for the other, teach or learn something, and where there would be more conflict than peace. 

Getting rid of the habit of having expectations is certainly not easy, but doing so more and more each day helps one to enjoy life by accepting and appreciating the unexpected because, after all, the best things in life often come when you least expect them!

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