According to experts, couples who fight a lot really love each other and here are 9 reasons why! -
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According to experts, couples who fight…
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According to experts, couples who fight a lot really love each other and here are 9 reasons why!

March 16, 2019 • By Shirley Marie Bradby

The assumption that "that couples that argue together, stay together" is somewhat questionable.

However, recent surveys have shown that 44% of married couples believe that fighting at least once a week helps keep the couple's relationship alive, healthy, and constructive. 

A lively discussion, that is not violent, makes it possible to clarify problems and misunderstandings, allowing the relationship to evolve and remain authentic. 

If you are still not convinced, here are nine more reasons why arguing can be good for a couple's relationship.

  • 1. Fighting is a symptom of a mature relationship. Constantly avoiding discussions does not extend the life of a relationship, on the contrary! When we speak clearly of what is not right, even when we have a heated discussion, we avoid letting problems be swept under the rug, and we truly take care of the relationship. 
  • 2. Fighting means there is a true interest in the relationship. One could turn a blind eye to certain habits of one's partner that are annoying, but to talk about them even if it means fighting, means that you are interested in improving and that you really want to stay together. If there are a lot of discussions and you always make peace, it is because you both can look beyond the small disputes. 
  • 3. Fighting makes communication easier. Discussing things is one of the main forms of communication and the most honest because it helps to increase intimacy, trust, and being connected. In addition, it teaches both partners how to develop their communication skills in a positive way.
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  • 4. Fighting is a sign of a healthy relationship. Among the seven key points for a happy relationship, psychologists also include arguing because it allows the couple to reconsider their values and feelings. However, it would be advisable to avoid raising your voice or becoming aggressive. 
  • 5. Fighting strengthens the relationship. When a couple fight, what is important is not who will be right and who is wrong, but what each person will end up learning about another. In this way, they learn to reach a compromise which makes the relationship stronger. 
  • 6. Fighting relieves resentment. Just like life's difficulties, in a relationship, there are also annoyances and disagreements that must be faced together as a couple. Otherwise, the rancor and resentment accumulated by each partner will end up corroding the basis of the relationship. Therefore, it is necessary to vent these bad moods and reclaim the same consideration one gives to the other.
  • 7. Fighting increases the likelihood of staying together. Poor communication is the primary cause of a relationship breaking down. Conflict is feared, so a problem is never discussed. Over time, a distance is created that leads to the end of the love story. Addressing certain thorny issues before they become insurmountable is the right choice to make when you are in a love relationship with a person. 
  • 8. Fighting reveals and stimulates your passion. Intense discussions increase hormone levels. Therefore, a dispute often results in making passionate peace! To maintain a strong relationship, it is necessary to free one's emotions, without exploding violently, but also without holding them back, and always aiming for a positive solution.
  • 9. Fighting is an antidote to boredom. Constructive arguments can fuel the flame of a relationship, continuing to make it exciting, even after years of being together. Imagine how boring it would be to always agree on everything!?! 

Arguing is constructive when both partners respect themselves and each other and are willing to admit their respective mistakes and to apologize. Moreover, it is fundamental not to digress, to revive previous disputes or to widen the discussion to include other people. Above all, never be violent and aggressive.


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