The wounds in children's hearts caused by an absent mother ... -
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The wounds in children's hearts caused…
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The wounds in children's hearts caused by an absent mother ...

December 28, 2018 • By Shirley Marie Bradby

Our mother is that unique and fundamental being who - for better or for worse - will be an indispensable reference point throughout our life.

However, quite understandably - it is in the very early childhood stage that a mother's presence is indispensable for the emotional and cognitive development of a child.

This is true to such an extent that instinctively, a child's greatest fear is to be left without their mother; something that inevitably happens - for work or otherwise - often causing uncontrollable crying.

Consequently, prolonged absences can cause serious emotional wounds, especially in the first six years of a child's life.

image: pixabay

An absent mother can in fact also be the root cause of problems regarding sleep and food: these disorders can also become, more or less consciously, a way to oppose such a lack.

Moreover, frequent and prolonged absences can also induce strong anxiety in children --- they are afraid when their mother leaves, but also when she returns, because they do not know when she will leave them alone again. Some mothers, however, use this fear to control their children, threatening to abandon them if they do not obey.

The child who has an absent mother develops a typical sequence of behaviors that consists of protest - desperation - estrangement, which makes their emotions fragile and unbalanced, and furthermore, sometimes ends up developing a deep hatred for the fact of being forced to experience such a situation.

The child can become a distant, angry, and sad adult; above all, a child learns that they have to deal with life by themselves, and this leads him or her to wear masks - the obedient, the bully, the clown, etc., which is a habit they will continue to have as an adult and it is nothing more than a way to react to their feelings of abandonment.

In general, the children of absent mothers lose trust in others and with it, the hope of being loved. Therefore, as adults, they usually go in search of relationships based on absolute dependence - destined mostly to fail if they do not face the profound problems of their childhood - or if they remain stubbornly incapable of trusting others.


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