Some good reasons to avoid telling too…
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Some good reasons to avoid telling too much about ourselves and living more serenely

June 30, 2020 • By Alison Forde

In the era when everything is instantly shared and exposed to the gaze and comments of the whole world, the word "confidentiality" has certainly lost a good part of its meaning. In fact, few people today manage to keep the public and personal spheres well separated. Thanks also to modern means of communication, social networks which, if not used with judgment and the careful attention, expose us and all our personal information to a continuous violation of privacy.

We are not exaggerating: it is enough to look around to understand that it really is so. Talking too much about oneself, showing off, however, is a risk that is not only taken in the "digital" world: it is an aspect of our relationships that it is always good to try to avoid, even if we think we do it in good faith. The reason is simple: not talking too much about ourselves will allow us to live happier.

via: Medium.com

image: Pexels

This is not about asociality or closure: unfortunately, perhaps out of a desire to forge relationships or be accepted, we often tend to go beyond private borders which instead it would be better not to go beyond when we talk to others. If we are faced with a sincere, friendly and trustworthy person, this should never be a problem. The risk, however, lies in wait when we put our secrets and our information in unsafe hands.

What happens at that point? We expose ourselves to possible gossip and to criticism that is able to paint an image of us that has not been sufficiently evaluated and weighed, but which may be based on hasty assumptions or evaluations, made out of judgement and little else.

Details, unsolicited information, confidences: we are absolutely not saying that it is wrong to trust others and speak sincerely. Sometimes you just have to carefully choose the people with whom to do it, that is, those who deserve our openness. There is also the risk of not giving enough space to those we speak with, who may be overwhelmed by our problems while instead they may need to confide theirs.

image: Pxfuel

Unfortunately not everyone in the world out there is our "friend". Indeed, the people that we can truly consider such, in a lifetime, can be counted on the fingertips. For this reason, we should keep our deepest thoughts for who we know will not feel envy or frustration, perhaps under a "mask" of smiles and falsehoods. It's nice to share happiness, but that doesn't have to make everyone our confidant.

When it comes down to it, it is only a matter of taking on more shrewd attitudes, and of abandoning others perhaps linked to a continuous need to communicate and socialize. Always maintaining a certain "aura of mystery" with others and learning to open up with someone who is truly trusted is a way to live better, even if at times it may seem like being a more closed person. This is not the case, because errors of judgement, as regards people, can happen: it is up to us to decide whether to protect ourselves from unpleasant surprises.

Tags: UsefulPsychology

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