Sometimes when people don't have time for us, it just means we're not their priority

by Shirley Marie Bradby

December 31, 2018

Sometimes when people don't have time for us, it just means we're not their priority

In lifeit is normal to be forced from time to time to review the true value of people and to thin out the group of those that are worth keeping at your side.

What hurts in a relationship between two people is not so much a bitter truth but a lie that has been repeated over and over again. Discovering that someone is not as you thought they were can happen and it can make you feel bad, but only once.

However, lies and invented excuses, are a hard blow every time they are repeated.

via Psychology Today

If someone wants to see you, they will find the time. If they do not find it, that means they have other priorities that interest them more. There is nothing wrong with this, but it is good to be aware of it. Friendship is made of sharing moments, ideas, and emotions and when all of this is missing, the friendship itself is lost. 

Over the years it is normal to have more commitments; work, family, working out at the gym, and personal interests. At the same time, however, the ability to prioritize things also grows, creating a ranking that is ordered by importance. 

If you happen to put someone in first place, but who instead do not give you the same importance, it is useless to beg for the time that is not being given to you. This is because, behind the various excuses and no time, there is actually only a lack of interest.


When this situation makes you feel miserable, it is even more urgent to review your priorities. Giving to a person you love is gratifying, but at a certain point, there comes a time to receive. 

What can we do when a person does not have the slightest intention of spending time with us, despite telling us that they are doing everything possible to find the time? We cannot force someone to consider us to be a priority with respect to the rest of their life because it would be a serious act of selfishness. At the same time, however, we also cannot let it seem as if we are the type of person who just accepts blatant lies and excuses. 

Only you have the freedom to choose what to do, depending on how much you care about this person and how much you feel responsible for the fact that they are not giving you the same attention that they once did. You can decide to back off a little and let the relationship take its course, whatever it is, or speak to them face to face to identify the problem. 

The important thing is that you choose well the people you want to have around you because they will have a great influence on your life. Consequently, cultivate honest relationships, which are good for your spirit and to which you can give all of yourself.